Fear Is The Key - Part 1 of 2

Donkeys and You

Do you know how to control a donkey? You use a stick and a carrot (apparently). The carrot is to entice him and the stick is to hit him, the idea being that with both elements, the donkey will go where you want him to. Humans aren’t very different.

Motivation

You see, motivation (that is, motive to take action) is pretty much about two things; the desire for things that make us feel good (e.g. comfort, security, respect, power etc.) and the fear of loss (loss of comfort, security, respect, power etc.). While this is definitely an over-simplification, it is also a good guideline in understanding basic human nature.

The Psychology

Most people, by definition (because psychology is based on what the majority of people are like), would be considered “normal” or “well adjusted”, so in this article, I am not referring to mal-adjusted folks, such as sociopaths, psychopaths, masochists, schizophrenics etc. but rather to most, “normal” people.

The Equation

That said, here is how the gain vs. loss equation works.

Humans typically strive for comfort, because the opposite of that is discomfort, which most people don’t like nearly as much. Comfort can mean different things to different people of course, and much of this is based upon what each person is accustomed to experiencing. For example, 50 degrees will feel warm to a person who is accustomed to living in freezing temperatures.

Discomfort

So, we strive for comfort in an effort to avoid discomfort. We also strive to have MORE that other people around us, or at the very least as much (house, car, vacations, television etc.). This is the “carrot” part of the equation. Now for the stick.

The Stick

Moving towards better things; nicer food, a better house or neighborhood, a better brand of car and so on, is an effective lure (motivator), but moving away from possible loss has a lot more impact on people.

What do I mean by “moving away”? Well, in some cases this can be literal; people regularly move away from their home countries to avoid persecution or poverty, while still others will move neighborhoods if they feel it is getting too unsafe for them, or their children.

What IS Fear?

But for the most part, I mean that people will avoid the possibility of loss. What are most people afraid of losing? Loss of life, loss of liberty, loss of health, loss of respect, loss of comfort, loss of money and so on. How much more effective is the stick compared to the carrot? According to many psychological studies, fear (of loss) has about twice the effect on people than the lure of gain. This should be noted, because it can affect the way that you interact with people for the rest of your life, including customers and employers.

More importantly, it will allow you to better understand and guard against others who want to control YOU!

Tomorrow, we’ll discuss the effects of using the wrong kind of reward in the wrong way.

Luke.